April 2014 – Paul M. Baxter

Peep.

Ask the little frog why he peeps, and he’ll stare at you and say, “Peep,” which settles the question.

The invention of the cotton gin was highly overrated.

Cotton gin makes a TERRIBLE martini.

The price an artist pays for doing what he wants is that he has to do it.

~ William S. Burroughs

I am working on a story called “I, Reboot” about a new robot line which threatens mankind until they get their weekly software update.

Once as I lay soundly sleeping
Came a sound so gently beeping
From the unknown, it kept creeping
Creeping from beneath the floor.

“Hark!” said I, as I did wake,
And in fear did start to shake,
“Silence now, for goodness’ sake!”
This I did the sound implore.

Still the sound went unabated
As I lay in bed and waited
For a sound it seemed was fated
To continue evermore…

I keep telling myself “The seasonal average for April is four inches of snow. The seasonal average for April is four inches of snow…”

This is my version of Dorothy clicking the heels of her ruby slippers together and repeating “There’s no place like home.”

Oh, now you’re picturing ME in ruby slippers. STOP THAT.

Many things are improved with the addition of googly eyes

Walter White was a bad man. Becoming a vampire did not improve him.