The word of the night is ubiquitous.
just remember, there is no ‘quit’ in ubiquitous.
Wait, that’s not it.
There is no ‘I’ in ubiquitous.
No, that’s wrong too.
You can’t spell ubiquitous without ‘us.’ It’d just be ubiquito.
In the dark
Parent: “Just remember, there’s nothing there in the dark that isn’t there when the lights are on.”
Child: “That’s just what I’m afraid of!”
Elections…
“With this book,” the necromancer said, “I can conjure people from the dead!”
“Pfft,” the politician said. “We’ve been doing that with voters for years.”
Another mixed metaphor
The next inexplicable mixed metaphor, heard on a Canadian radio broadcast, said of an American Presidential candidate:
“He burned all the branches and opened the floodgates!”
Uh… wouldn’t opening the floodgates put out the burning branches?
Mixed metaphor of the day
The mixed metaphor of the day seen online:
“… Skip the hand wringing… and… get on board to come down into the trenches”
When logic reigns supreme
If sanity ever does reign supreme, it will probably be lonely.
It may have logic to keep it company. Hopefully compassion and mercy won’t be strangers either.
Spring forward. Fall asleep.
I’ve been hearing spokesmen warning against drowsy drivers due to the change back to Standard Time.
Um, does anyone actually get drowsy from being able to sleep an hour LATER according to their body clock?
I have problems in the spring when we go to Daylight Saving Time, but never in the fall.
Storming the castle
If you’re determined to storm the castle, let the other angry villagers go first. That way, the monster will be more tired by the time it gets to you.
“It was a complete 360!
Heard in a radio ad, from a woman who was extolling the service she got from a local car dealer: “It was a complete 360 compared with the Volkswagon dealer I dealt with down South.”
Oooo…kay….
National Sandwich Day
On the beach, I shouted, “It’s safe to come out! It’s National Sand Witch Day!”
“#NationalSandwichDay,” she said from behind the dune. “Not the same thing.”