Carol of the Backup Beepers

Two fire trucks
Backing into the fire station
Each at their own pace
Their backup beepers
At perfect pitch —
Synchronous to start
Slipping out of phase
And into a perfect
Syncopation
In a performance worthy of
Phillip Glass

My theory of writing

I’ve had a theory for a while that there are strong characters, strong plot, and strong writing, and you can get by on having any two out of those three. Having all three is ideal, of course, but I’ve enjoyed books that only had two.

George Saunders on writing method

“I discovered that I could make a fairly ambitious story via fragments,” he told me, in the interview.

“I didn’t have to have a through line or a plan, didn’t have to know where it was going… If you trimmed all the fat out of a bit, it would start to thrum with meaning—and then, all of a sudden, it would have something it wanted to cause. So there would be these, like, vital bits on the page, not linked to anything yet. And then structure became just linking up those vital bits, looking for the simplest way to connect them.

So, if you cut all the lazy shit out of a story, what’s left will tell you what structure to put in place so that none of those good bits need to be lost. And then you are trying to arrange them so that they are in causal relation to one another.”

~ from “How to Imitate George Saunders” by Benjamin Nugent

“How to Imitate George Saunders,” The Paris Review

Holiday werewolves

Holiday werewolves: ever considered getting drunk cheap by drinking all the blood of someone who’s BEEN drinking?

It won’t work.

Adult blood volume is about five liters/5000 ml.

A blood alcohol content of 0.10 percent would be… 5 ml of pure alcohol.

Which would be the equivalent of 12.5 ml of 80 proof booze of your choice; about 0.44 fluid ounces, or less than a third of a shot.

So even if you, a werewolf, drank ALL your victim’s 80 proof rum-infused blood, it would barely register. Not a good life choice, werewolf.

(So, you’ll never see a werewolf in one of my stories making THAT mistake!)

The Wolf-Leader, and changing writing styles

Earlier, I cited a passage from Beauty and the Beast as an example of how writing style has changed from then to now. I’m reading Alexandre Dumas’ The Wolf-Leader from 1857, and the following passage struck me in much the same way:

At times, when I have been loving and caressing my grandmother, Monsieur Thibault, and she takes me on her lap and clasps me in her poor weak trembling arms, and puts her dear old wrinkled face against mine, and I feel my cheek wet with the loving tears she sheds, I begin to cry myself, and, I tell you, Monsieur Thibault, so soft and sweet are my tears, that there is no woman or girl, be she queen or princess, who has ever, I am sure, known such a real joy as mine.

– Alexandre Dumas, The Wolf-Leader

Again, as with Beauty and the Beast, the above is… one sentence.

Cats vs elves

‪I think cats are tough on elves. Ever since I’ve had cats, I’ve never once woke up to find a writing work-in-progress conpleted by elves during the night.‬

Language challenges

‪Sometimes I write a sentence like (speaking of a white leather sofa) “Did it have transparent vinyl covers on it, or was its pristine albinism sufficient ward against the incursion of the mundane?” and I think, TOO ABSTRUSE. NOBODY’S GOING TO UNDERSTAND THAT.‬

‪And then I think, no one’s gonna understand ‘abstruse.’‬

Writing practice

“Writing practice brings us back to the uniqueness of our own minds and an acceptance of it. We all have wild dreams, fantasies, and ordinary thoughts. Let us to feel the texture of them and not be afraid of them.”

―Natalie Goldberg