Month: May 2015

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Trying your beast

Ah, ambiguity. The gift that keeps on giving.

I jotted down a note. It says “trying your beast.” Now I’m trying to remember what I meant by that.

Did I want to write a few sample paragraphs involving the beast, to see if the story was going to go anywhere?

Did I intend to take the beast to court?

Maybe I was thinking about getting a beast, and I wanted to borrow yours to see how it would go. Who knows? I might decide it’s not a practical idea after that. “Thanks, but TOO MUCH WORK,” I might say. “All the grooming, the long flights, the immense quantities of fish? No. Not for me. Although it IS a lovely beast.”

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Raising the stakes

I admit: writing advice of “raise the stakes” has led me more than once to want to write this:

“He’d screwed up odd-even parking for the last time. When he found the ticket on his car windshield, he knew he had three days to clear himself, or it would mean the end of the universe, all life on Earth, and it would be impossible for him to keep his date with Cassie this Friday night.

It had taken him a LONG time to get that date.”

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Splash + Fatal Attraction = New Jaws Movie

A cable channel had Splash followed by Jaws, and it got me thinking: what if you mashed up Splash and Fatal Attraction to create a new Jaws movie?

“A long-abandoned mermaid vows revenge against humanity and terrorizes a small New England coastal town.”

I would watch that.

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Country noir

Country noir. Life, death, mysterious disappearances, and cows. I like that.

“I was a cow, so I’d seen the pigs come and go. You learned not to get too attached to them, or to the chickens. The chickens had a short attention span anyway, but it was hard to ignore the pigs.

Then, one day, the farmer disappeared. The truck came by to pick up the milk, and the driver discovered the chores hadn’t been done. He called the cops.

“Did you see anything?” they asked me. “Moo,” I said. I wish I could have told them more. The farmer was jake in my book.”

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Solving the crime

“Get ready to follow the clues and help solve the crime!” goes the promo for a network mystery show.

So, if I am watching it and I fall asleep – what happens THEN? Does the crime go unsolved? I don’t know if I’m ready for that much responsibility.

It’s these kinds of questions that keep me up at night. Which means I may still be awake to help solve the crime after all.