Writes all the things. Most of the things never write back.
I am now imagining something like An American Werewolf in London, but with writers.
Two men are hiking in the countryside. They’re attacked by a werewriter. One dies, and comes back as a ghost to warn the survivor to kill himself.
“You’ve got to do it, David! Kill yourself, or more characters will die!”
David, of course, does NOT kill himself, instead choosing to follow the old writing advice to “kill your darlings.”
Today’s forecast calls for scattered thunderstorms. The current weather radar suggests that they are no longer scattered. They have gathered to the west of here, and are grumbling their plans to each other.
I tried ghostwriting once. Consensus was that the characters were haunting, but you could see right through the plots.
There seem to be several works of fiction with the name Ravenous. I am disappointed that none of them involves a were-raven.
Quoth the were-raven, “Hey! I seem to be turning into a… caw! Caw! Caw!”
A line of dialogue is not clear enough if you need to explain how it’s said.
~ Elmore Leonard
The surest way NOT to please everybody is to try to please everybody.
Except for you. You over there, shaking your head to yourself. What must I do to please you? Because I’ll do it. HEY, DON’T WALK AWAY!
Sigh. One MORE PERSON I’ll never please, I guess.
A very short story.
Zeno’s Werewolf
The moon is full at last, and I’m halfway to being a werewolf.
Now I’m half again there.
And again, halfway as close.
Too late. The moon’s no longer full.
I walked outside this morning and found Morgan Freeman on my front lawn. He was narrating March of the Slugs.
One slug appears to have fallen down the steps and faceplanted. Either that, or it’s doing yoga. I’ve never seen a slug doing Downward-Facing Dog before.
Sometimes a title comes to mind and I think, I really want to read that story. I guess I’d better write it.
If a genie used Autocorrect:
Me: (blows out birthday candle; smoke turns into a genie) Wow! A genie! Do I get three wishes?
Autocorrect: Here are your three fishes.
Me: Not fishes! For my birthday, I have three wishes?
Autocorrect: Granted. Here are your three dishes.
Me: NO! NO! Birthday WISHES?
Autocorrect: Here are your birthday witches. poof; disappears.
Me: looks at the witches Anyone for some cake? I also have fish.