The first year of my life had to have been awesome; I don’t even remember a moment of it!
My next novel features a chicken as a hard-boiled detective in a seedy neighborhood who finds himself in the soup. The chicken’s sidekick is a pig who’s a bit of a ham, who does all the grunt work when not swilling down drinks.
Their first case is in search of a sheep gone baaaad who’s on the lam. The sheep has amnesia and his memory is wooly.
It’s in there somewhere…
I misplaced my cordless phone; then something in the pile of remotes started ringing.
Self-winding!
One good thing about a tornado watch – you never need to wind it. It winds itself.
It’s like a stroll on the beach
Going outside right now is like a sunlit stroll on a warm, sandy beach.
Except it’s dark, and cloudy enough to obscure the waxing gibbous moon, and it’s 31 degrees out, and that’s granular snow, not sand, under my feet, which are wearing boots, not sandals or barefoot.
Other than that, exactly the same.
Inversion
I put my thinking cap on inside-out; now I’m gathering in everyone else’s thoughts. Who knew my plants were so smart?
Schröedinger’s library
I took out books from Schrödinger’s library, and now if I know where they are, I don’t know when they are due.
Schrödinger’s Dinner Reservation
I was going to have dinner with my friend Schroedinger tonight until I realized that I could know where I was to meet him or when, but not both.
Doctor Zhivago: Supermodel Edition
Hmm. On Travel Channel, I can see SI swimsuit models in Antarctica. On TCM, I can see Doctor Zhivago. I think I’ll switch back and forth to bring SI supermodels into the Russian Revolution.
Apocalypse when?
I am going to make a movie based on Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness” and cast it entirely with cats, and I shall call it “Apocalypse Meow.”
Also, I am going to stage a new version of Mary Poppins performed entirely by monkeys, to include the beloved big dance number “Chim-chimpanzee!”