I’m listening to the radio, and I’m hearing this weight-loss ad on the radio. If you’re an adult, that place between your chest and your hips is your stomach, not your tummy. If your tummy is too big, perhaps it got that way by eating too many sammies, or have you been overindulging in psgetti again? Just… STOP, before I have to come over there and make you stand in the corner.
I’m Paul Baxter, and I approved of this message
The jar of peanut butter I just opened is the BEST jar of peanut butter I’ve opened ALL DAY. And my dog agrees.
I’m Paul Baxter, and I approved of this message.
As things are
We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are.
~The Talmud
Cereal monogamist
I am a cereal monogamist. I finish my corn flakes before I go shopping for raisin bran.
My National Poetry Day 2012 poem
…and MY poem for National Poetry Day:
The sky tonight, so clear
I could see a million stars
Or at least nineteen
(plus the moon)
and then I ran out of fingers and toes
to count them on.
The expectations game
With the Presidential debate tonight, each camp is trying hard to lower expectations. The President’s camp is praising Romney as a skilled debater, while the President has not had to debate for several years, so is likely to be rusty. The Romney camp retorts that the President is known to be a gifted orator, and that Romney has been working hard just to utter intelligible grunts during debate prep.
A debate drinking game
We’re approaching the start of the debate, so let’s review the rules.
If the President says “Let me make this clear,” drink a shot.
If the President says “Make no mistake,” drink a shot.
Just a regular guy…
I just heard a PARTICULARLY stupid promo on the radio: “Who won the debates? The rich guy or the regular guy?”
Yeah, because the guy who was born in Hawaii, grew up in Indonesia, graduate of Columbia University and Harvard Law School, past State Senator and U.S. Senator before he got his current job, is just a regular guy. Right. Guys like that are a dime a dozen on my block. Just another regular guy.
Goodbye to summer
If you didn’t say goodbye to summer with Labor Day, and you didn’t say goodbye to summer last Saturday, when we hit the equinox, you may be saying goodbye to summer today with the last day of September. October is many glorious things, but summer it is not.
Let me be clear
I’m going to start a new drinking game and down a shot of whiskey every time the President says “Let me be clear” in a speech. If I also down a shot every time the President says “Make no mistake,” I shall spend the rest of the election campaign completely plastered, which may have its advantages.