The dog nudged my feet, waking me up.
“There’s a big light in the sky!” he said.
“That’s the moon,” I said.
“But part of it is gone!”
“That happens.”
“Let’s go outside to see it better!”
So we did.
(The dog didn’t exactly say that, verbatim. I’m doing some interpretation.)
He’ll have his own Christmas special, no doubt
And then there’s Nestor’s brother Crestor, the long eared Christmas donkey with high cholesterol.
Name that stain!
I am working on a new game show concept called NAME THAT STAIN, in which the contestants are shown a stain and have to guess whether it was something tracked in, spilled, or something produced by the pets.
In the final round, the contestant is blindfolded, walked barefoot across a carpet, and asked to identify a stain by touch and smell alone.
Hungry Like the…
I wonder if there is a wolf version of Duran Duran that sings “Hungry Like the Human”?
Cat-assisted entropy
“So THAT’S where that went!” I said, pulling the Scotch tape dispenser out of the sock drawer after the cats did some redecorating.
Discernment
“You don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground!”
“Oh, yeah?”
* walks past donkey, jumps in ditch, tries to ride away *
Caution horses
I saw a trailer today with lettering on the back that said CAUTION HORSES. I was charmed by the concept. What helpful horses! They must be something like seeing eye dogs.
If I had a Caution Horse, it would probably ask me “Do you really want to do that?” or tell me, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
That’s how Hannah wound up with her horse. She was considering entertainment choices, and a horse walked up and said “You know, cable TV might not be the best option for you.” It was the best advice she’d gotten all day.
(Don’t be) the world’s biggest jackass
Lindsey Graham recently advised “Don’t be the world’s biggest jackass.”
I must admit, there may be better ways to get yourself into the Guinness Book of World Records.
I’m sorry to say that this statement has crowded out all the search results for just how big the world’s biggest jackass is or was. As a result, he remains in obscurity.
Karma and the frogs
It’s a wet night, so there’s more frogs on the road than I’ve seen all spring. I try to avoid hitting frogs as much as I can, but then I started thinking. If you were born a frog due to your past karma, and I hit the frog, would I have freed the frog from its existence so then it would be free to move up a step in its next reincarnation, OR would I be dooming it to be reincarnated yet another time to learn the lessons it had yet to learn as a frog?
This is why I try to avoid hitting frogs, it’s too much responsibility otherwise.
At least the movie wasn’t all just fluff
I saw White House Down last night.
This was NOT a movie about collecting feathers from geese on the White House lawn.
SO disappointed.