Writes all the things. Most of the things never write back.
I think when I go to bed tonight, I will close my eyes & imagine an infinite number of lemurs skating around a lemniscate.
You might say, But Paul! Are they rollerskating or ice skating? And I would answer, because there are an infinite number of them, they are both rollerskating AND ice skating. AND roller skating on ice. JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN.
My black dog’s shadow
Cast by waxing gibbous moon
Gray against the snow.
I am working on a synaesthetic version of THE SOUND OF MUSIC called THE SMELL OF MUSIC.
It will be very popular with dogs.
Exciting news! The cats have informed me that the Saturday before Thanksgiving is a holiday called Caterday, when cats feast on all the good food they can eat. They have requested tuna.
The dogs went outside, saw the snow, looked excited, and looked at me. I think they think I was responsible for this somehow.
Yes, dogs. I turned the world into a giant Sno-Kone FOR YOUR BENEFIT. You’re welcome.
Dogs twitch in their sleep sometimes. Cats extend their claws. I just had a demonstration of that by the cat who was sleeping in my lap.
I’ve figured this out. My cats are the pinballs in the pinball machine that is my house. Imagine a 15 pound furry pinball careening around, claws out, randomly knocking things over, and you get the idea.
I am going to make a movie based on Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness” and cast it entirely with cats, and I shall call it “Apocalypse Meow.”
Also, I am going to stage a new version of Mary Poppins performed entirely by monkeys, to include the beloved big dance number “Chim-chimpanzee!”
When chickens get a cold, what do people tell them to take?
The jar of peanut butter I just opened is the BEST jar of peanut butter I’ve opened ALL DAY. And my dog agrees.
I’m Paul Baxter, and I approved of this message.