Even enjoyed Warren Zevon’s “Werewolves of London,” but wondered how it might sound if written by James Joyce? Well, today is your lucky day!
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/warren-zevons-werewolves-of-london-by-james-joyce
The Wolf-Leader, and changing writing styles
Earlier, I cited a passage from Beauty and the Beast as an example of how writing style has changed from then to now. I’m reading Alexandre Dumas’ The Wolf-Leader from 1857, and the following passage struck me in much the same way:
At times, when I have been loving and caressing my grandmother, Monsieur Thibault, and she takes me on her lap and clasps me in her poor weak trembling arms, and puts her dear old wrinkled face against mine, and I feel my cheek wet with the loving tears she sheds, I begin to cry myself, and, I tell you, Monsieur Thibault, so soft and sweet are my tears, that there is no woman or girl, be she queen or princess, who has ever, I am sure, known such a real joy as mine.
– Alexandre Dumas, The Wolf-Leader
Again, as with Beauty and the Beast, the above is… one sentence.
Language challenges
Sometimes I write a sentence like (speaking of a white leather sofa) “Did it have transparent vinyl covers on it, or was its pristine albinism sufficient ward against the incursion of the mundane?” and I think, TOO ABSTRUSE. NOBODY’S GOING TO UNDERSTAND THAT.
And then I think, no one’s gonna understand ‘abstruse.’
Verisimilitude
“It”s gonna be a nice fall-like afternoon today,” the guy on the radio says.
Yup. Nothing gets more fall-like than a day in October with typical temperatures. When it’s, you know, FALL.
John Henry and the steam hammer. This time, John Henry wins.
The occasional egregious typo aside, it’s been a good week since I turned off Autocorrect on the iPad. It seems Autocorrect has a higher rate of faulty autocorrections than I do of typos.
Beauty and the Beast, and changing writing styles
As a writer, I read a variety of material, and recently read a compilation of various versions of Beauty and the Beast. I found the following passage interesting, mainly because its style is so different than writing today:
She was not alarmed at the sentiments with which you might inspire her, and persuaded that her virtue was sufficient to guarantee her against the snares of love, she attributed her sensations to a simple curiosity to ascertain if there were still upon the earth men capable of loving virtue unembellished by exterior ornaments, which render it more brilliant and respectable to vulgar souls than its own intrinsic merit, and frequently, by their fatal attractions, obtain the reputation of virtue for the most abominable vices.
– Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve (Translated by James Robinson Planché)
That’s… one sentence.
Methods of communication
The dog barked, knowing even as he did so that there were certain concepts which didn’t translate well into Dog.
He’d try interpretive dance next.
When the intent to create clickbait intersects with bad writing
I’ve commented on bad, misleading, attention-grabbing headlines before, and this one compounds it with the use of the passive voice in a misleading way:
“Coach Jim Boeheim was involved in a fatal car crash last night.”
Until you hear the story (it was on the radio), it makes you wonder: involved in a fatal car crash? Was he killed?
No. He was the driver of a car that struck and killed someone.
Second: since when do we refer to a car hitting someone as being “in a car crash”? Technically, I guess, it’s accurate, but it’s misleading.
Third, the passive voice: “was involved in”? He was driving the car that hit and killed someone, so sure, he was “involved.” The car didn’t do it all on its own.
My sympathies go out to the man who was killed, and his friends and family, and to Coach Boeheim and HIS friends and family. From all accounts, this was a tragic accident. Roads were slippery/icy; I was out on them myself a little more than an hour earlier. Coach Boeheim was apparently trying to avoid a car that has spun out and was in the road in front of him and in that effort, he struck someone on the shoulder of the road. But for the radio to word things this way is irresponsible, the audio equivalent of clickbait, and it brings discredit on those who would do this for the purpose of sensationalizing a tragic situation.
When you run out of future…
Just saw an ad urging you to “Consider PBS in your future plans.”
As in, when you die and * hint, hint * leave money to PBS.
This is more like, “Make a plan for when you run out of future!”
Missing monsters
I saw a headline about someone ‘reading the riot act’ to missing ministers.
Which I read as missing monsters.
I like my version better.
Me to monsters: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I’VE BEEN WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU! YOU’RE ALL GROUNDED.