It’s low-hanging fruit, person on TV, not low-lying fruit.
How you win the World Series
I was just enlightened by a baseball commentator. Do you know why KC won the World Series? Because they set goals. They were determined to win their division, then their league, then the World Series.
Oh, and they had a never-quit attitude. Unlike the other teams, I guess.
“Do we really want to win the division?”
“I don’t know, man. Then we have to play more games. And that Gatorade bath is COLD.”
Autocorrect follies
Dear Autocorrect:
When I type oof, I mean oof, not Olaf. Not oodles.
When I type blech, I do not mean bleach, or bleachers.
Discernment
“You don’t know your ass from a hole in the ground!”
“Oh, yeah?”
* walks past donkey, jumps in ditch, tries to ride away *
Caution horses
I saw a trailer today with lettering on the back that said CAUTION HORSES. I was charmed by the concept. What helpful horses! They must be something like seeing eye dogs.
If I had a Caution Horse, it would probably ask me “Do you really want to do that?” or tell me, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
That’s how Hannah wound up with her horse. She was considering entertainment choices, and a horse walked up and said “You know, cable TV might not be the best option for you.” It was the best advice she’d gotten all day.
Execrable
The word of the day is execrable. I had to look up the word origin on this one, because I was wondering if it was related to excrement. Turns out, it isn’t. Execrable is from the Latin ecrābilis – accursed, detestable.
Harpy birthday!
Somebody wished me a Harpy Birthday.
Does the female monster in the form of a bird with a human face go away at midnight? She’s making me nervous. Going to sleep seems like the wrong thing to do.
Careless sentence construction results in… zombies?
Word order in sentences matters.
Local crime story on suspicious finding:
“Someone noticed the remains walking by the railroad tracks.”
If I saw remains walking by the railroad tracks, I’d be suspicious. And probably terrified.
Applied Logic
If you go to Turkey Hill for ice cream, do you go to Ice Cream Hill for turkeys?
… and the foot is in his mouth…
Local radio guy, about smoking being banned at Chevrolet Court at the State Fair: “Now the shoe is on the other foot, and us non-smokers have the upper hand!”