Writes all the things. Most of the things never write back.
Three weeks is not enough to get everything done that I’d hoped to do in 2014. Where do I go to file for an extension?
I would settle for a time machine. Someone would have to send me one, though. I don’t think three weeks is enough time to invent a time machine by myself. Also, inventing a time machine was not on my 2014 to do list.
Ever hear the lyrics to The Theme from MAS*H?
“Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize, and then I see…”
THIS is why I avoid early morning fog. And early mornings in general. You never know when there’s going to be fog. I don’t want to take any chances.
A very short story.
Zeno’s Werewolf
The moon is full at last, and I’m halfway to being a werewolf.
Now I’m half again there.
And again, halfway as close.
Too late. The moon’s no longer full.
I am half right about half the things I know half as many times as half of everyone else.
Let sleeping dogs lie. You’ll never get them to admit that they weren’t telling the truth anyway.
You’ve heard the joke about what happens when you play country music backward, I trust.
I am going to watch the Star Wars movies backward.
The Empire returns to democracy. Darth Vader regains his innocence and his limbs, the Death Star is dismantled, and the Jedi order is restored.
Wherever I go is the most interesting place in the house. I get up, and all the cats and dogs rush in front of me to see where the action is. Or is going to be, because I’m there.
How did Ben keep a straight face when Luke said “I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like my father”?
“Well, maybe not JUST like your father, Luke. For REASONS.”
The wind is howling outside. It sounds unhappy.
Let me tell you something, Wind. There’s a REASON we don’t let you inside. You have bad manners. You knock things over and spill drinks. Why can’t you be more like your more congenial cousin, Breeze?
Ask the little frog why he peeps, and he’ll stare at you and say, “Peep,” which settles the question.