“I’m not saying he’s evil… but he puts the sin in synopsis.”
Who loves ya, baby?
“There’s something very soothing about hanging out with people who know all about your faults and like you just fine anyway.”
~ Maggie Stiefvater
Impossible!
Whenever I reject a writing idea as impossible, it becomes both irresistible and inevitable.
(Don’t be) the world’s biggest jackass
Lindsey Graham recently advised “Don’t be the world’s biggest jackass.”
I must admit, there may be better ways to get yourself into the Guinness Book of World Records.
I’m sorry to say that this statement has crowded out all the search results for just how big the world’s biggest jackass is or was. As a result, he remains in obscurity.
Everything they’ve got
“They’re going up against us with everything they’ve got!”
I think I’ll write a story where “They’re going up against us with maybe half of what they’ve got! Give or take ten percent!”
The Love Story of LuLuBelle and Billy Bob
Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats, she thought. Then she realized, naw. Billy Bob never was big on thinking anyway.
The end.
Interviews I have known
Interviewer: What is your greatest weakness?
Interviewee: Coming up with plausible answers to stupid interview questions.
A leap of faith
My horoscope today says “Before you take a leap of faith, be sure you are heading in a direction that is in your best interests.”
This is good advice. As any number of funny animal videos show, if you jump in some random direction, you’re likely to comically crash into something by accident.
Harpy birthday!
Somebody wished me a Harpy Birthday.
Does the female monster in the form of a bird with a human face go away at midnight? She’s making me nervous. Going to sleep seems like the wrong thing to do.
Maggie Stiefvater improves your life
Here is a way to improve your life: Everywhere you see the word “margarine,” replace it with “butter.”
– Maggie Stiefvater, on Twitter
Everywhere you see the word “low fat,” apply judicious strikethrough to the letters L and O and W.
Also, I give you full permission to compare the nutrition facts of your granola bar with cookies and forevermore eat cookies for breakfast.