Writes all the things. Most of the things never write back.
A cable channel had Splash followed by Jaws, and it got me thinking: what if you mashed up Splash and Fatal Attraction to create a new Jaws movie?
“A long-abandoned mermaid vows revenge against humanity and terrorizes a small New England coastal town.”
I would watch that.
Country noir. Life, death, mysterious disappearances, and cows. I like that.
“I was a cow, so I’d seen the pigs come and go. You learned not to get too attached to them, or to the chickens. The chickens had a short attention span anyway, but it was hard to ignore the pigs.
Then, one day, the farmer disappeared. The truck came by to pick up the milk, and the driver discovered the chores hadn’t been done. He called the cops.
“Did you see anything?” they asked me. “Moo,” I said. I wish I could have told them more. The farmer was jake in my book.”
“Get ready to follow the clues and help solve the crime!” goes the promo for a network mystery show.
So, if I am watching it and I fall asleep – what happens THEN? Does the crime go unsolved? I don’t know if I’m ready for that much responsibility.
It’s these kinds of questions that keep me up at night. Which means I may still be awake to help solve the crime after all.
I now want to write about a poetry-manufacturing machine named Robot Frost.
The President said today the entire country needs to “do some soul-searching.”
My soul wants to know if I have a warrant.
As I was waking up, the clock radio was talking. I heard it say “It’s Earth Day.”
Oh, I thought. So THAT’S where I am today.
Local radio guy, about smoking being banned at Chevrolet Court at the State Fair: “Now the shoe is on the other foot, and us non-smokers have the upper hand!”
That is not what they told me at the Red Cross yesterday.
Now, the dryad who was in line behind me? SHE had the forest in her blood.
(Graphic via the Wolf Conservation Center on Facebook)
#YouKnowYouAreAWriterWhen you’re watching a movie, and you hear a line, and you think, “No. THAT’S not the next line. THAT’S THE WRONG NEXT LINE.”
And you have a better next line. Heh.
A ROUND OF DRINKS FOR ALL MY IMAGINARY FRIENDS!
I don’t know why I keep buying them drinks. They hardly touch them, and THEY never buy the next round.