If I had an evil twin, he would start out by trying to convince me that I was the evil twin.
Ebenezer Scrooge, P.I.
I am going to write a new version of A Christmas Carol where Scrooge is a hard-boiled private dick solving Marley’s murder:
The name’s Scrooge. Ebenezer Scrooge, P.I. My partner Marley’s been deceased these past seven years, and I won’t rest until I know why.
No corner of the past or present are safe from my hunt. I’ve made bargains – dark bargains – with spirits to assure me of that.
Marley’s murder may lie in the past. But the future will not find him unavenged, or my name isn’t Scrooge.
Ebenezer Scrooge, P.I.
This is why the wind cries
This is why the wind cries: it cannot hold a pen. The wind writes on the surface of a lake, and every first draft is the last.
Relativity
My black dog’s shadow
Cast by waxing gibbous moon
Gray against the snow.
William Shakespeare, Meteorologist
If William Shakespeare was a weather forecaster:
“Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
The daily highs will be in the 20s
For seven days henceforth
Save Saturday and Monday
Which will be colder still.
And snowfall each and every day, forsooth.”
Raindrop on Roses > Black Ice on Roads
When The Sound of Music collides with the current weather forecast in my brain, this is what happens:
Black ice on roads is a thing that I’m hating
Rain that then freezes is not worth creating
Breaking the branches to which the ice clings
Both of these are my least favorite things…
(Try not to picture me in lederhosen yodeling this. Oh, TOO LATE! That’s an image you could have done without.)
The plot may diverge thereafter
I am waiting for the version of The Sound of Music where Maria holds a moonbeam in her hand and the Captain turns into a werewolf.
The Smell of Music
I am working on a synaesthetic version of THE SOUND OF MUSIC called THE SMELL OF MUSIC.
It will be very popular with dogs.
Surefire hit
I’m now working on writing a Doctor Seuss – Doctor Who crossover episode titled “Horton Hears a Doctor Who.”
… and don’t let the door hit you on the butt on the way out!
I went to a house where the welcome mat was turned around backwards. I think this meant “We’re so glad you’re leaving.”