Exciting news! The cats have informed me that the Saturday before Thanksgiving is a holiday called Caterday, when cats feast on all the good food they can eat. They have requested tuna.
ONE BIG GIANT SNO-KONE
The dogs went outside, saw the snow, looked excited, and looked at me. I think they think I was responsible for this somehow.
Yes, dogs. I turned the world into a giant Sno-Kone FOR YOUR BENEFIT. You’re welcome.
The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Theory
I am going to write a story about a group of lovable genius nerds who rebuild an old race car into a flying car.
The title will be The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Theory.
A new Thor origin story
I am writing a new Thor origin story.
“I worked out really hard to get big and fit.
AND NOW I AM THOR!”
A turkey and gravy… pizza?
Pizza Hut has a stuffed crust pizza. I propose a pizza whose crust is stuffed with STUFFING. A turkey and gravy pizza. THIS COULD HAPPEN.
Cook to perfection
I saw this line in a recipe: “Cook to perfection or until brown on both sides.”
Of course, I imagined this: someone’s cooking chicken. It’s lovely. It smells wonderful. They turn up the heat a little bit, and flip it over. Now they start to get a little anxious. Is it brown enough? Or has it gotten too brown? Is it sticking in the pan? IS IT PERFECT?
Then they remember : it’s cook to perfection, OR UNTIL BROWN. And THIS is certainly some shade of brown. They briefly contemplate writing a “50 Shades of Brown” cookbook before moving on to the next step in the recipe.
I’ll bet Chuck Wendig doesn’t have these kinds of problems when HE’S cooking.
Your true task
Your true task has just begun, and you may not know in your life if you have succeeded in it, but only if you fail.
— Peter S. Beagle
A simple plot
I have a crazy plot that JUST might work. I’m going to get up at 8:30 tomorrow morning, and try to convince everyone around me that it’s REALLY 7:30. I only have to convince several million people to reset their clocks for me to pull this off.
Wait. You mean they’ve already DONE it? EXCELLENT!
The heart wants what the heart wants
Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants.
And tonight the heart wants picante chicken ramen.
Oh, wait. That would be what the stomach wants.
I’m OK with that.
The scariest Hallowe’en story EVER
I’m writing the scariest Halloween story ever. It’s about a writer who writes the scariest Halloween story ever and dies just before hitting SEND.