I saw a Sponsored Post; Black Horse Carriers is hiring. I don’t think I could carry a black horse very far, though. Do you know how much those things weigh?
The Writing Page
A friend of mine just retitled his Facebook page as a Writing Page. I wish I had a Writing Page. It sounds like something out of Harry Potter. All I’d have to do is put the Writing Page in front of me and watch it fill itself up with the most sublime prose this side of Sheboygan.
Instead? The page just sits in front of me, all blank, and *I* have to fill it in and make it not-blank, LIKE A CAVEMAN WITH A STICK OF CHARCOAL ON A CAVE WALL.
Caution horses
I saw a trailer today with lettering on the back that said CAUTION HORSES. I was charmed by the concept. What helpful horses! They must be something like seeing eye dogs.
If I had a Caution Horse, it would probably ask me “Do you really want to do that?” or tell me, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
That’s how Hannah wound up with her horse. She was considering entertainment choices, and a horse walked up and said “You know, cable TV might not be the best option for you.” It was the best advice she’d gotten all day.
Where IS my next story?
I just saw the question “Where will you find your next story?”
Under the tip of my pen, was my first thought.
Execrable
The word of the day is execrable. I had to look up the word origin on this one, because I was wondering if it was related to excrement. Turns out, it isn’t. Execrable is from the Latin ecrābilis – accursed, detestable.
The Republican job interview
Imagine a carousel filled with Republican Presidential candidates, with job interview questions being shouted at them as they revolve by.
That’s what this Republican Presidential debate format is like.
The special is…
McDonald’s is advertising that a burger that was $4.99, is now… $4.99.
It’s probably $4.99 tomorrow, too.
The rising moon
The rising moon
does not escape
the teeth of the hungry trees
whole.
Apples in a tree by the roadside
I saw a roadside tree with ripe apples, and considered stopping and taking one, but that never goes well in fairy tales, does it?
The writer paid by the word
How you know a writer is being paid by the word: when he writes something like this –
“Behold us, turned to birds, a prey to the talons of kites, hawks, and falcons! Behold us made companions of water-hens, snipes, goldfinches, woodpeckers, jays, owls, magpies, jackdaws, rooks, starlings, woodcocks, cocks, hens and chickens, turkey-cocks, blackbirds, thrushes, chaffinches, tomtits, jenny-wrens, lapwings, linnets, greenfinches, crossbills, flycatchers, larks, plovers, kingfishers, wagtails, redbreasts, redfinches, sparrows, ducks, fieldfares, woodpigeons and bullfinches!”
(To which the editor replies, “I think we got the point after, oh, the first half-dozen birds listed.”)