“Where IS the TV remote?” Paul asked, looking around.
The cat shifted, then decided the slight discomfort was worth the amusement value of keeping it concealed by lying on it a little longer.
On the tip of your mind
It’s a peculiar and agreeable sensation when something that’s been on the tip of your mind for several days finally jumps to the fore, like a leaf on a branch that has chosen this moment to float into your waiting hand.
Stay-at-home Congressional representative?
There’s a radio ad running to the effect of “There [name] goes again – jetting off to Washington, leaving the rest of us behind.”
Uh… isn’t going to Washington kind of IN the Congressional representative job description? I mean, that’s where they meet, right?
Weather Hype
On the news, they keep talking about “rain measured in feet, not inches!”
If we get an inch of rain, we can do the same thing. “We got 1/12th foot of rain!”
Done. Rain measured in feet, not inches. Two can play at that game.
Missing monsters
I saw a headline about someone ‘reading the riot act’ to missing ministers.
Which I read as missing monsters.
I like my version better.
Me to monsters: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I’VE BEEN WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU! YOU’RE ALL GROUNDED.
Not terrible
The local weathercaster referred to this weekend as “not terrible” – two days of highs of 81° and a 20% chance of showers or scattered showers.
I hope she was being ironic. I’ll take that “not terrible” through the end of October, please. Then you can have your falling leaves and pumpkin spice whatever.
It only gets more complicated from there
From my work in progress:
“They were completely unaware of each other, which is just as well, because if they were, it would lead to a story which would take more time to tell than I have right now. The end.”
A knight in shining armor
The problem with being a knight in shining armor is that if you don’t have a squire, it falls to you to keep it polished.
#ProblemsOfKnightsInModernTimes
Life extension and exercise
Let’s do the math here.
A report today suggests exercising twenty minutes a day adds two years to your life.
They don’t say how long you need to exercise twenty minutes a day.
Twenty minutes a day, in a 365 day year, means 121.66 hours spend just exercising, or five solid days.
So you can live to be, say, eighty, or you can exercise and live to be eighty-two. But of those bonus 730 days, you’ve spent 400 of them sweating, netting you 330 days; so, a little less than a year.
Yeah, you get to be ALIVE those 400 days that you’re sweating. But the “two extra years” they’re promising, it doesn’t come without a cost.
I’ve always thought a more convincing argument is that exercise presumably lets you have a greater percentage of your life spent healthier than if you’d been more sedentary.
Why word order matters
The radio news has been reporting that in the California wildfires, a grandmother and her two grandchildren “were reported killed by their relatives.”
Uh… no. They were reported by their relatives as having been killed. Their relatives didn’t kill them.