If you’re determined to storm the castle, let the other angry villagers go first. That way, the monster will be more tired by the time it gets to you.
“It was a complete 360!
Heard in a radio ad, from a woman who was extolling the service she got from a local car dealer: “It was a complete 360 compared with the Volkswagon dealer I dealt with down South.”
Oooo…kay….
National Sandwich Day
On the beach, I shouted, “It’s safe to come out! It’s National Sand Witch Day!”
“#NationalSandwichDay,” she said from behind the dune. “Not the same thing.”
Supermoon safety tip
Werewolf alert. Which is an alert TO werewolves, and an alert for others ABOUT werewolves. Don’t let your Supermoon gazing distract you to the point that you do not hear the stealthy approach of a werewolf.
Vehicles that make you look younger
There is a local radio ad with a woman – she and her husband are in their sixties, and she wants to buy a red Jeep instead of one that is black, white or silver because she wants to think out of the box and look younger.
I think the only way a red Jeep would make you look younger is if the windows are heavily tinted and you never get out.
I bought a newer vehicle recently. The old one was silver. The newer one is black. I don’t look any younger. Perhaps I chose poorly.
That IS kinda the nature of predictions…
I just heard someone on the radio say they had a prediction for the future. Those are much trickier than predictions for the past.
Beard care with Occam’s Razor
Beard care with Occam’s Razor:
The simplest possible solution is not to shave.
Predictability
The rain
the forecast said
would arrive
at 9:00 p.m.
started to fall
at 5:53.
How good IS that?
There’s an ad on the radio for a fast food chain that will sell you breakfast food at any time of the day. You can get hotcakes for dinner. The announcer exclaims that it doesn’t get better than that.
* wipes away a tear for the announcer and her stunted vision of how good things can get *
Chronological roadblock
On Monday, there was a sign on Seventh North Street saying the the northbound I-81 on ramp would be closed 10/10/2010. Information useful if you’re driving a time-traveling DeLorean, I guess.