Writes all the things. Most of the things never write back.
I just got an e-mail inviting me to join a spiritual organization whose beliefs include reincarnation, and who said “And if you are interested kindly revert back to us for more details”.
Hmm. If I did that, what would I be reverting back to? What do they know that I don’t?
(I don’t believe in reincarnation. But my past self did.)
The local radio news reported at the bottom of the hour that we are “about to get another taste of Old Man Winter.” Ewww.
I like the way they worded the snowfall prediction in one forecast:
“Heavier amounts in favored snowbelt locales.”
I feel so… special.
#blessed
Just exactly how does ‘the plot thicken?’ Do you use cornstarch or flour or arrowroot, or do you just cook it down like a reduction?
The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy: neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.
~ John W. Gardner
The word of the night is ubiquitous.
just remember, there is no ‘quit’ in ubiquitous.
Wait, that’s not it.
There is no ‘I’ in ubiquitous.
No, that’s wrong too.
You can’t spell ubiquitous without ‘us.’ It’d just be ubiquito.
Parent: “Just remember, there’s nothing there in the dark that isn’t there when the lights are on.”
Child: “That’s just what I’m afraid of!”
“With this book,” the necromancer said, “I can conjure people from the dead!”
“Pfft,” the politician said. “We’ve been doing that with voters for years.”
The next inexplicable mixed metaphor, heard on a Canadian radio broadcast, said of an American Presidential candidate:
“He burned all the branches and opened the floodgates!”
Uh… wouldn’t opening the floodgates put out the burning branches?
The mixed metaphor of the day seen online:
“… Skip the hand wringing… and… get on board to come down into the trenches”