Writes all the things. Most of the things never write back.
The importance of spelling (or typos, or a properly located space): I just got an e-mail from a local business celebrating “10 years of becoming apart of the community.”
“Yeah, when we started, we were really close, but thanks to ten years of sustained effort, we’ve never been further away than we are now!”
I was just writing something and wanted to look up the run time of Batman v. Superman (two hours and three minutes, in case you’re wondering), but instead typed Barman v. Superman, which I might be more interested in seeing.
“Closing time, Superman. Finish your drink and go home.”
“NO ONE TELLS ME WHEN TO STOP DRINKING.”
“Don’t make me call your mother.”
“SHE’S NOT MY REAL MOTHER.”
“Let’s not go through that again. Let me call you a cab.”
“I’M FINE TO FLY. JUST FINE.”
“The last time you said that, you flew into several buildings.”
“A DEER RAN OUT IN FRONT OF ME.”
“A hundred feet in the air?”
I am watching the Olympics. There is a large number of people wearing vivid colors running around in circles. They are all running in the same direction. I need know no more.
A good neighbor is worth their weight in gold. Try and fence one, though, and you only get pennies on the dollar.
An Old West gunfight with numerically challenged participants:
“You know the rules. Ten paces, then turn and fire.”
“One… two… three… four… the number after four… wait, I got this. This little piggy went to market – no, that’s not it. Dang it! Give me a minute. I’ll figger this out.”
The word of the night is redemption. If you did not win at the Olympics last time, you are obligated to seek it.
Otherwise? I don’t know. If you don’t earn your Olympic redemption, do you wander around in shame for the rest of your life, unable to meet the eyes of others in polite society? All the competitors in the world all striving for a very small number of places on the victory podium, but if you do not win, no redemption for YOU.
And is redemption a zero-sum game? Because you achieving YOUR redemption at the Olympics denies someone else the chance to win theirs.
Seen on Twitter:
“History was made in equestrian individual eventing.”
EVENTING?
Me to dog, before I go to bed: I need to get up early in the morning.
* * *
1:30 a.m.
Dog: Get up!
Me: This is not what I meant.
Dog: It’s early, and I want to go out.
I guess I should’ve been more specific.
They say “write with joy,” but I say if Joy doesn’t show up, start without her.
I saw someone refer to food as “scrummy,” and I thought, ewww! Then I figured out it was short for scrumptious.
I still don’t like the word “scrummy,” though.