Frosty the Snowman is on now. I’m wondering exactly what they would have brought to life if they’d used the Sorting Hat from Hogwarts instead?
Why is Frosty the Snowman upset that someone forgot to give him a belly button? HE’S NOT A MAMMAL.
Reimagining Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
I’m watching Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and imagining a version where, when the mud was knocked off Rudolph’s nose, he becomes a reindeer version of Cyclops from X-Men.
I am now imagining a version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer patterned after Carrie, where Rudolph develops deadly telekinetic powers with his red nose.
Scorned. Rejected. Alone. But one day, Rudolph will show them ALL.
Text at lightening speed?
I just saw a cellular provider ad offering “text at lightening speed!”
I am now looking forward to a weight loss through texting workout.
Running out of time in the year
Three weeks is not enough to get everything done that I’d hoped to do in 2014. Where do I go to file for an extension?
I would settle for a time machine. Someone would have to send me one, though. I don’t think three weeks is enough time to invent a time machine by myself. Also, inventing a time machine was not on my 2014 to do list.
Guilt trips
When I get a guilt trip, I mentally tally up the frequent flyer miles I’m accruing. Bad news is, they’re good for no place I want to go.
Autocorrect, reimagined
I am now imagining an Autocorrect for life itself.
Autocorrect: “Skip the clam chowder. Order the crème brûlée.”
Choices
Marry someone you love and who thinks you being a writer’s a good idea.
— Richard Ford
IT FOLLOWED ME HOME. CAN I KEEP IT?
“The stories people tell have a way of taking care of them. If the stories come to you, care for them. And learn to give them away where they are needed. Sometimes a person needs a story more than food to stay alive. That is why we put these stories in each other’s memory.”
Barry Lopez
Snowflake haiku
The snowflakes have joined
Into big wet shaggy gangs
And splat to the ground.
‘Tis the season…
Band-Aids is promoting Band-Aids as a stocking stuffer.
“Merry Christmas!”
“Oh, boy! Band-Aids! I hope I get hurt soon!”
I now want to write a story about unlikely Christmas presents received with improbable – but genuine – enthusiasm.