Writes all the things. Most of the things never write back.
Stephen King once said, “The scariest moment is always just before you start.”
There’s a reason for this. This is when all the monsters and murderers and evil spirits converge in hopes that the next story is going to be about THEM.
And when it’s not – well, some of them are very disappointed indeed.
I wonder if storm warnings would be taken more seriously if they were put in Biblical terms.
“Soon, and very soon, I shall smite thee,” saith THE STORM. “And thou shall be sore afraid. I shall smite thee with the winds that destroyeth, and the hail that flatteneth, and the lightning that burns with the heat of a thousand suns.”
I admit: writing advice of “raise the stakes” has led me more than once to want to write this:
“He’d screwed up odd-even parking for the last time. When he found the ticket on his car windshield, he knew he had three days to clear himself, or it would mean the end of the universe, all life on Earth, and it would be impossible for him to keep his date with Cassie this Friday night.
It had taken him a LONG time to get that date.”
A cable channel had Splash followed by Jaws, and it got me thinking: what if you mashed up Splash and Fatal Attraction to create a new Jaws movie?
“A long-abandoned mermaid vows revenge against humanity and terrorizes a small New England coastal town.”
I would watch that.
Country noir. Life, death, mysterious disappearances, and cows. I like that.
“I was a cow, so I’d seen the pigs come and go. You learned not to get too attached to them, or to the chickens. The chickens had a short attention span anyway, but it was hard to ignore the pigs.
Then, one day, the farmer disappeared. The truck came by to pick up the milk, and the driver discovered the chores hadn’t been done. He called the cops.
“Did you see anything?” they asked me. “Moo,” I said. I wish I could have told them more. The farmer was jake in my book.”
“Get ready to follow the clues and help solve the crime!” goes the promo for a network mystery show.
So, if I am watching it and I fall asleep – what happens THEN? Does the crime go unsolved? I don’t know if I’m ready for that much responsibility.
It’s these kinds of questions that keep me up at night. Which means I may still be awake to help solve the crime after all.
I now want to write about a poetry-manufacturing machine named Robot Frost.
The President said today the entire country needs to “do some soul-searching.”
My soul wants to know if I have a warrant.
As I was waking up, the clock radio was talking. I heard it say “It’s Earth Day.”
Oh, I thought. So THAT’S where I am today.
Local radio guy, about smoking being banned at Chevrolet Court at the State Fair: “Now the shoe is on the other foot, and us non-smokers have the upper hand!”