I think cats are tough on elves. Ever since I’ve had cats, I’ve never once woke up to find a writing work-in-progress conpleted by elves during the night.
Language challenges
Sometimes I write a sentence like (speaking of a white leather sofa) “Did it have transparent vinyl covers on it, or was its pristine albinism sufficient ward against the incursion of the mundane?” and I think, TOO ABSTRUSE. NOBODY’S GOING TO UNDERSTAND THAT.
And then I think, no one’s gonna understand ‘abstruse.’
Verisimilitude
“It”s gonna be a nice fall-like afternoon today,” the guy on the radio says.
Yup. Nothing gets more fall-like than a day in October with typical temperatures. When it’s, you know, FALL.
The sacrifices we make…
Sometimes I’m in Oswego during the Rudy’s season, and I’m in a little bit of a hurry, and I think, do I want to go to Rudy’s? And more often than not, I do, because I realize, I CAN DO THIS FOR THE ONES WHO DON’T HAVE THE OPTION. It’s the sacrifice I make, willingly.
No need to thank me. The food is reward enough.
The ‘appeal to authority’ logical fallacy
I’m going to start appending “Undisclosed sources reveal… ” in front of everything I say, in order to make them sound more authoritative.
My writing
I tried writing a nice, normal story once, but I fell asleep in the middle of writing it.
99.3%
The moon won’t be completely full for another day, but it’s 99.3% full now, which is close enough for most werewolves.
Modern wishes
Modern wishes aren’t what they used to be. These days, it’s “Have a wonderful day!” or “Enjoy that cake!” Used to be, wishes and gifts involved big and dangerous things like turning stones into bread or making everything you touch turn into gold.
Admittedly, those seldom went well.
John Henry and the steam hammer. This time, John Henry wins.
The occasional egregious typo aside, it’s been a good week since I turned off Autocorrect on the iPad. It seems Autocorrect has a higher rate of faulty autocorrections than I do of typos.
(n-1) won’t fit
- Go to freezer, remove ingredient for dinner
- Wonder why (n-1) things won’t fit back into the freezer where n things fit to start with.
I may never have to buy food again. I take things out of the freezer, and it never gets any emptier. The downside of that: I take out some things and ask myself, what did that used to be?