If Shaun Cassidy was performing on the oldies circuit, he could do a Da Doo Ron Ron/Baby Shark Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo montage.
Come back, Shaun. 2019 needs this.
Methods of communication
The dog barked, knowing even as he did so that there were certain concepts which didn’t translate well into Dog.
He’d try interpretive dance next.
Firefighter math
If you get to bed after 3:00 a.m. because you were out on a structure fire, and you need eight hours sleep, and there is a call at 10:37 a.m. the next morning, you get up and respond to it because somebody’s got to…
#ThreePlusEightPlusACallAt1037DoesNotEqualEleven
When you run out of future…
Just saw an ad urging you to “Consider PBS in your future plans.”
As in, when you die and * hint, hint * leave money to PBS.
This is more like, “Make a plan for when you run out of future!”
The license to use 2018 has expired
It seems like, after sufficient warning, the license to use 2018 has expired but we have been granted access for 2019 on the same terms. I suggest we accept it before they alter the terms of the deal.
Crush strength of a trachea, calibrated in cats
If you want to know what the crush strength of my trachea is, it’s somewhat greater than the eleven pound cat sitting on it now,
Unexpected sounds
Sometimes I hear unexpected sounds and then I realize, the cat walked on the clock radio at bedside.
I hope.
The Hidden
“Where IS the TV remote?” Paul asked, looking around.
The cat shifted, then decided the slight discomfort was worth the amusement value of keeping it concealed by lying on it a little longer.
Stay-at-home Congressional representative?
There’s a radio ad running to the effect of “There [name] goes again – jetting off to Washington, leaving the rest of us behind.”
Uh… isn’t going to Washington kind of IN the Congressional representative job description? I mean, that’s where they meet, right?
Weather Hype
On the news, they keep talking about “rain measured in feet, not inches!”
If we get an inch of rain, we can do the same thing. “We got 1/12th foot of rain!”
Done. Rain measured in feet, not inches. Two can play at that game.