Just got an e-mail from ‘Netflix’ that started ‘Dear Costumer.’
THIS IS NOT A COSTUME, ‘Netflix.’
(It came from an e-mail address ‘@infonet.com.br’, so PROBABLY NOT THE REAL NETFLIX.)
See also: Christine
Note to local car dealer:
In referring to your inventory in your radio ad, you might not want to say you have “a selection to die for.” That’s probably not the most favorable association for your product.
How hard is it to count to… two?
Huh. My Amazon Prime order placed on Friday, April 6 with free two day delivery, is now scheduled to arrive… before 8:00 p.m. Wednesday, April 11.
I blame Common Core math.
How blood pressure works. Or not.
TV show on now:
“His blood pressure is 90 over 120.”
Wait, what? No! THAT’S NOT HOW BLOOD PRESSURES WORK.
Hard sparkling water?
Wait. Now someone has come out with HARD SPARKLING WATER? What is THAT? Like a vodka tonic without the distracting flavor of tonic water? Vodka diluted with bubbly water?
Food management for time travelers
Another of life’s complications for time travelers: managing food items in the pantry and refrigerator.
“May 2018. Wait. Has that happened yet?”
Talent, genius, and guile
Talent hits a target no one else can hit.
Genius hits a target no one else can see.
Guile finds the arrows and paints a bullseye behind them.
Ahn-yungs
Note to radio ad about pizza offering unlimited toppings:
“Onions” is not pronounced “ahn-yungs”
The To-do Liz
Autocorrect just tried to change my to-do list to a to-do Liz, which would be nice if I could hand my notes of things that need to be done to someone and have them go do them.
They wouldn’t even have to be named Liz. That was just Autocorrect’s suggestion.
Test day
Launching your own personal web site kinda feels like that dream where you’re standing in front of your classmates in your underwear at a test that you didn’t study for.
Something like that.