It took me until 2015 to find out that Sally Hull McMillan died back in 1976 in McMillan & Wife.
I suppose it’s too late to send flowers.
Careless sentence construction results in… zombies?
Word order in sentences matters.
Local crime story on suspicious finding:
“Someone noticed the remains walking by the railroad tracks.”
If I saw remains walking by the railroad tracks, I’d be suspicious. And probably terrified.
Nothing says “Fathers Day” like kale
I’m hearing a story on the radio this morning about how you should show your love for ol’ Dad this Fathers Day by talking with him about how he should quit smoking. Oh, and give him HEALTHY snacks, like fruits and vegetables, rather than those chips he likes.
Yep. Ol’ Dad is gonna love you for that. I’ll go further and suggest that instead of steaks or burgers or ribs, surprise him with a big plateful of kale instead. That will go over well too. While you’re at it, remind him that when he’s eating kale, he doesn’t have to stand outside in the sun by that barbecue grill, so YOU won’t have to remind him of how he’s neglected to put on the SPF 1000 sunblock. Again.
By then Dad will probably want a drink. Probably not a good idea either, Dad. Maybe a kale smoothie instead?
Emergencies on demand
Hmmm. Just saw an ad where someone said “I just pressed the button, and the emergency arrived within minutes!”
And I’m thinking, wow! A system that summons up emergencies and then delivers them?
Don’t threaten ME, Major Burger Chain
“If you miss out, you’ll never know how delicious 100% sirloin tastes.”
This is the claim a Major Burger Chain is making in its current ad. But that sounds like a hostage threat to me.
What I want to know is, how are they going to pull this off? It’s actually kind of a grandiose claim unless they have some nefarious plan to deny the rest of the world 100% sirloin after the Major Burger Chain’s limited time promotion is over.
Hey, wait. I’m thinking, new Austin Powers movie. Austen Powers versus the Sirloin Monopoly. An evil megalomaniac holds the world’s supply of sirloin hostage unless his demands are met?
I’m sure this would be a good idea, somehow
I saw one of those inevitably cheery articles about how to turn yourself into a Morning Person.
“Don’t ever say this: ‘I HAVE to wake up at 5am tomorrow.’
Always say this: ‘I GET to wake up at 5am tomorrow!’ ”
I might as likely stop saying “HELP I’m being stabbed to death by knife-wielding rabid weasels with bad toupees and bloodshot eyes!” and start saying “I GET to be stabbed to death by knife-wielding rabid weasels with bad toupees and bloodshot eyes!”
Actually, I might take my chance with the weasels over the alarm clock.
Karma and the frogs
It’s a wet night, so there’s more frogs on the road than I’ve seen all spring. I try to avoid hitting frogs as much as I can, but then I started thinking. If you were born a frog due to your past karma, and I hit the frog, would I have freed the frog from its existence so then it would be free to move up a step in its next reincarnation, OR would I be dooming it to be reincarnated yet another time to learn the lessons it had yet to learn as a frog?
This is why I try to avoid hitting frogs, it’s too much responsibility otherwise.
How to find your own voice
I’m not a famous writer guy. But I can share the thing I did that made me like my voice now as much as I’ve ever liked it.
Ready?
Write.
Write A LOT.
Write even when you don’t like the voice of what you’re writing.
By writing a LOT, you’ll start to pick up what there is about your writing that you don’t like. Cut those things out. What’s left is better.
Michelangelo took a block of marble and crested the statue of David by removing everything that didn’t look like David. You can do the same thing with your writing. If you write enough, you’ll see glimmers of your own writing that you like. You’ll see words and phrases you never want to write again. You’ll get better at recognizing these patterns, and your voice will be stronger.
At least, that was my experience.
You may have heard of morning pages. My writing improved when I started doing those. I’ve modified the practice since then. These days, I only do one page, and not necessarily in the morning – but I still do something like them. It helped me start picking out the words and phrases I overused. My first drafts of ANYTHING are cleaner and better now as a result.
Why It’s Worth Making Time for This Lengthy Morning Ritual – Jessica Stillman
Friend of the Brand
I see where an expensive watch company has an ad that identifies an actor as a “Friend of the Brand.”
This is a human, of course, not a cow. Cows may have a different perspective on what it means to be a Friend of the Brand.
Justice and Physics
Angie hurled her entire body at me. She wasn’t a very large person, but justice and physics were on her side.
~ Maggie Stiefvater, SINNER