Oh, Autocorrect. I’m telling someone how to make corned beef, and say “You mix up a brine,” which Autocorrect changes to “You mix up a bribe.”
NOT THE SAME THING, AUTOCORRECT.
The bird in my yard
There is a bird in my yard with the voice of squeaky hinges on an unlatched screen door swinging loose in the breeze.
I may have been complicit
The TBR pile at bedside seems to have grown a foot taller.
OK, it didn’t do it all by itself. It had assistance.
Please support my gigantic Powerball payout
Everyone please buy tickets for the next Powerball drawing. They won’t be able to pay me the 1.3 billion dollars if you don’t.
There’s another drug for that
I wonder if there’s a drug to cure the obsessive delusion that everything can be cured with a pill.
Side effects may include diarrhea, headaches, amnesia, logorrhea, and exploding toenails.
Mise en place fantasies
Not to mention any names, but a friend of mine recently confessed that she harbors mise en place fantasies.
Autocorrect changed that to “muse en place,” which also sounds useful for a writer.
The importance of legibility
What if the wise men’s list had been in bad handwriting, and they’d brought gold, Frankenstein, and myrrh instead?
He’ll have his own Christmas special, no doubt
And then there’s Nestor’s brother Crestor, the long eared Christmas donkey with high cholesterol.
For great justice
I saw an ad that asked “Is your underwear doing you justice?”
I didn’t even know it was judging me in the first place.
Recalculating….
Sometimes I see an ad for a Garmin GPS and I misread it as Gaiman, which would take me in quite a different direction, if it was Neil Gaiman.