An ad on the radio promised if I missed their deal, I would be kicking myself in the head.
Do I have to stand on a ladder for that?
What I deserve
I just heard an ad on the radio informing me that I deserved a Ford F150.
- How do they know that?
- What did I do to deserve that?
So where IS the Ford F-150 I deserve? If I deserve it, surely I deserve free delivery too. And a full tank of fuel.
🎶 I love romance… 🎶
August is National Romance Awareness Month.
With awareness and hard work, we are confident we can stamp out romance in your lifetime.
(I didn’t want to have a national romance anyway.)
No. No, they don’t
2:56 a.m., and three of the last four ads on TV started with”We know why you’re awake!”
One of them thinks I need a reasonably priced funeral home.
One of them thinks I need to buy a Chevy.
One of them thinks I need a sleep study.
Bzzz! None of the above. I just got home from responding to a mutual-aid fire call.
I think I like my version best.
Lost and found
I just saw the question “Where will you find your next story?”
Under the tip of my pen, was my first thought.
The last first date
I just saw an ominous infographic that stated “31% of singles met their last first date online.”
Did their last first date just kill them, or was it so bad that they swore off dating forever?
“Manmade concrete blocks”?
I’m listening to a home improvement show on the radio, and the host is talking about manmade concrete blocks. And I thought, really?
I guess that is to distinguish them from the naturally occurring concrete blocks?
An American… WRITER in London?
I am now imagining something like An American Werewolf in London, but with writers.
Two men are hiking in the countryside. They’re attacked by a werewriter. One dies, and comes back as a ghost to warn the survivor to kill himself.
“You’ve got to do it, David! Kill yourself, or more characters will die!”
David, of course, does NOT kill himself, instead choosing to follow the old writing advice to “kill your darlings.”
Scattered thunderstorms
Today’s forecast calls for scattered thunderstorms. The current weather radar suggests that they are no longer scattered. They have gathered to the west of here, and are grumbling their plans to each other.
Ghostwriting
I tried ghostwriting once. Consensus was that the characters were haunting, but you could see right through the plots.