Writes all the things. Most of the things never write back.
I have a crazy plot that JUST might work. I’m going to get up at 8:30 tomorrow morning, and try to convince everyone around me that it’s REALLY 7:30. I only have to convince several million people to reset their clocks for me to pull this off.
Wait. You mean they’ve already DONE it? EXCELLENT!
Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants.
And tonight the heart wants picante chicken ramen.
Oh, wait. That would be what the stomach wants.
I’m OK with that.
I’m writing the scariest Halloween story ever. It’s about a writer who writes the scariest Halloween story ever and dies just before hitting SEND.
I may need to write a story sometime about a writer who inadvertently starts a new dance craze called the Plot Twist.
Dogs twitch in their sleep sometimes. Cats extend their claws. I just had a demonstration of that by the cat who was sleeping in my lap.
I have been seeing ads on Facebook for a game called CLASH OF CLANS.
It makes me want to design a video game called CLASH OF CLAMS. Picture it: a sandy beach, and clams in competition with mussels, crabs, lobsters and starfish for ULTIMATE BEACH DOMINATION.
I’ve figured this out. My cats are the pinballs in the pinball machine that is my house. Imagine a 15 pound furry pinball careening around, claws out, randomly knocking things over, and you get the idea.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And I took the one paved in brick to match
And that is how I wound up in Oz.
I am now working on a script about the Washington shutdown called THE NON-ESSENTIALS, to star Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
And Joe Pesci, who gets the line “I got your pink slip right HERE, pally!”
You may be a redneck if you fix your worn flip-flops with duct tape because it’s October 3 and they don’t need to last much longer…